Seriously, thank you so much for posting this. Brought me back to some of my crazy trips back in the day... It's so validating to hear people have had experiences like this, and you articulate it in such a clear fashion, I can put myself in your shoes. I thought I was crazy for so long.
Pro tip for anyone reading this, if your buddy asks you if they're dead during an acid trip, do NOT say "I have no way of knowing for sure" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I have to say that I admire you. If something told me that I could get what I want and stop suffering, and for whatever reason, I believed it, I would lie in bed and let everything take its course. The only thing that would convince me otherwise is that I am incapable of believing someone who tells me I can get what I want. In your situation, I would think some demon is deceiving me. If I were to confess (which I doubt), it would only be because it seems to be the opposite of what the malicious voice wants, but that action would stem more from my desire to oppose my imposed destiny than from any search for redemption. It would be the right response for the wrong reason. After all, my spiritual journey only exists because I reluctantly understood that I would never be happy in the physical realm.
I think you should avoid saying that last thing to avoid making it true, but thank you. Wise of you to spot that that would be the right response for the wrong reason. I think these tests are tailored to the individual so that you can only make the right choice for the right reason.
I think the movie American Psycho is a really good example of how it is like to be trapped in this Hell that you describe, where you get exactly what you want for all eternity. The protagonist tries to escape by confessing his crimes (like you confessed to your parents) but it didn't work because it wasn't true repentance.
Yes! That's exactly how it was presented. I've said a few times that Patrick Bateman is a really good portrait of a Thanatoid, and the way his memory and perception break apart (similar to how mine started to with Jane) and he gets away with everything is what I was told would happen to me if I stayed. I think the reason his confession didn't get him out was because it was already too late for him to feel true remorse.
Hell Trip was the edge of a psychological event horizon. If I had gone to bed, I would have fallen into the black hole.
If you take this understanding and then look at the Cenobites from Hellraiser, you'll have a clear as day picture of what these things are.
That last line - "I think tests like this probably happen all the time." Yes, I hope so.
Thanks for this. My own experiences with lsd are different, but also life changing (you get the lessons you need). With the main theme being about the things you feed yourself and how you should be very careful with this because you are what you eat.
And related to what you consume - the children's programming.. I'm glad you bring it up, this is a huge problem today. There are fewer and fewer good story sources for children and I think it is causing huge issues down the line (and then this causes a feedback loop too).
Not sure how to address it, but I'd love to work on this problem.
Seriously, thank you so much for posting this. Brought me back to some of my crazy trips back in the day... It's so validating to hear people have had experiences like this, and you articulate it in such a clear fashion, I can put myself in your shoes. I thought I was crazy for so long.
Pro tip for anyone reading this, if your buddy asks you if they're dead during an acid trip, do NOT say "I have no way of knowing for sure" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Also, spongebob is a fuckin great show
I have to say that I admire you. If something told me that I could get what I want and stop suffering, and for whatever reason, I believed it, I would lie in bed and let everything take its course. The only thing that would convince me otherwise is that I am incapable of believing someone who tells me I can get what I want. In your situation, I would think some demon is deceiving me. If I were to confess (which I doubt), it would only be because it seems to be the opposite of what the malicious voice wants, but that action would stem more from my desire to oppose my imposed destiny than from any search for redemption. It would be the right response for the wrong reason. After all, my spiritual journey only exists because I reluctantly understood that I would never be happy in the physical realm.
I think you should avoid saying that last thing to avoid making it true, but thank you. Wise of you to spot that that would be the right response for the wrong reason. I think these tests are tailored to the individual so that you can only make the right choice for the right reason.
What a read. Very (3rd) eye opening. Thanks for the glimpse into your journey with the Angel, was wondering how it began.
I think the movie American Psycho is a really good example of how it is like to be trapped in this Hell that you describe, where you get exactly what you want for all eternity. The protagonist tries to escape by confessing his crimes (like you confessed to your parents) but it didn't work because it wasn't true repentance.
Yes! That's exactly how it was presented. I've said a few times that Patrick Bateman is a really good portrait of a Thanatoid, and the way his memory and perception break apart (similar to how mine started to with Jane) and he gets away with everything is what I was told would happen to me if I stayed. I think the reason his confession didn't get him out was because it was already too late for him to feel true remorse.
Hell Trip was the edge of a psychological event horizon. If I had gone to bed, I would have fallen into the black hole.
If you take this understanding and then look at the Cenobites from Hellraiser, you'll have a clear as day picture of what these things are.
I hope I still have a passing grade in the class despite all my failures. God help us all.
That last line - "I think tests like this probably happen all the time." Yes, I hope so.
Thanks for this. My own experiences with lsd are different, but also life changing (you get the lessons you need). With the main theme being about the things you feed yourself and how you should be very careful with this because you are what you eat.
And related to what you consume - the children's programming.. I'm glad you bring it up, this is a huge problem today. There are fewer and fewer good story sources for children and I think it is causing huge issues down the line (and then this causes a feedback loop too).
Not sure how to address it, but I'd love to work on this problem.