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Baltazar's avatar

Hello. This is the first time I am commenting on this platform.

I hope you are doing well.

Long comment ahead:

I remember seeing The Shape of Everything from you 3+ years ago, and I still remember it vividly and how profoundly it affected me at the time. Heavy breathing, heart beating, strange clarity. It was my first exposure to your channel I got and to your content.

To say the least I got heavily invested because it was unlike anything I have ever heard before, and it didn’t feel disingenuous or like someone was trying to sell me an idea for some other motive than to spread the word.

I originally came to think that I had just viewed the video from another creator, but that clearly was not the case after some short evidence gathering. I questioned why you had removed it, but ultimately figured you had done it for a good reason, and it seemed to be correct mostly.

I came to download all of your videos around a while back directly after I noticed that the original video that introduced me to you was now inaccessible to me.

I notice you also have removed these videos, since I had them downloaded and they were not on your channel anymore:

The Bible’s Secret Messages

To Thy Pupil Cometh Sight

From Thy Shadow Cometh Light

And it is saddens me that you removed these, since even if you might look back at them and find imperfections too glaring, I still see it as profoundly interesting and eye opening.

I see it as the steps in your journey and the untarnished chapters of an authors original work.

And like the burning of the library of Alexandria, I can only feel loss of something that is worth sharing and keeping around.

I came to accept that I would never be able to see The Shape of Everything ever again. And then time passed and I went about my life once more.

It was only a few weeks ago that I returned to download some of your newer videos, to archive them in the event that those videos in the future would no longer be accessible anymore for any reason. I looked back at the videos I had archived that you had now made accessible, and I only wished that The Shape of Everything was available to watch, since I remember it with a strange yet profound fondness of sorts. It was the first introduction to your work, and I could see the value it held above most content on YouTube. I came to this platform to see your posts and to what you said, with a previous post talking about how you removed the video deliberately, which I felt was strange.

The urge to find the video once more was overwhelming, I even went as far as to rummage through the Wayback Machine to see earlier states of your channel to mixed results. I did not find it.

Funny how a few weeks after my fruitless pursuits, you would make this post.

I am glad to see you talking about it, let alone even adding more things to think about.

Regardless of how you feel about the original The Shape of Everything, I would still ask you to make it watchable again along with the other videos you made private. Or possibly upload all your videos somewhere other than YouTube for the sake of archiving them to the public to view.

Because I truly think they are worth keeping around.

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Libbie Grant's avatar

Wish I could describe the weird synchronicity this was a part of… thanks for sharing this when you did!

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